Growing Up

In our family, a working definition of a "grown up" is someone who no longer lives with their parents, and pays all their own bills.  It is our desire to see each of our children become grown ups someday.  As much as we love our kids, we do not want them living in our home forever.  And, have you noticed?  There is a lot of that going around.

Please don't misunderstand me.  I am not judging those kids who chose to continue living at home or the parents who support them.  My dearest friend is twenty-eight years old and still lives with her parents.  However, she has an amazing prayer ministry.  She cooks and cleans for the family.  And she has plans to be a missionary.  There are situations where having your child continue to live at home is the wise thing to do.

It may be that when the time comes, one or both of our daughters may choose to stay home.  I don't know. Sher Bear says that she will always live with us and take care of us.  Perhaps we will need taking care of by the time she is grown.  LOL!  We will cross that bridge when we come to it.  But our intention is for all three of the kids to have the skill set, ambition and opportunity to make their way in the world and move out of our home.

Jor Man turned eleven years old this week.  And we took the opportunity to reassess what he is learning.  Big Dad and I explained that our intention is for him to use this time to discover God's gifts and talents, and explore how he might use those to support his family someday.  He balked.  He didn't want to think about it yet.  Yeah, well, who really does?!

We ensured him that this is just a time of exploration.  He could identify several interests to pursue, and change his mind if he wants.  Now is the time to do this.  We would like for him to have a good first guess (or two) at his future career by age 13.

Then, at 13, we will begin to pursue appropriate apprenticeship opportunities.  Trying out a job before you put your time and money into preparing for it, gives you the chance to find out if you really like it or not - before you've invested "too much" to change your mind.

Hopefully, assuming the field he wants to go into does not require an advanced degree, he will already be working, maybe even in his own business by age 18.  Then he will be in the position to move to his own place and support a family.

But for now, exploring the possibilities looks like talking with mom and dad about his interests, praying and asking God for direction, reading books and getting a firm handle on how much life really costs.  Our first go around, one thing was for sure, Jor Man want to be rich.  (Don't we all?!)

So I decided to begin a unit study in financial stewardship.  Here's the plan so far:

Reading The Total Money Makeover, by Dave Ramsey.  Jor Man has been reading (and enjoying!) five pages a day, writing down three things he learned in his journal, and then we discuss it together.  This has started many interesting conversations about such things as whole vs. term life insurance, car payments, credit card debt, and pawn shops.  I love this book because of its biblical basis.  It also warns against using debt as a tool for creating wealth.  This principal would have saved so many people during the recent financial crises.

We watched Maxed Out, a movie about the debt crisis in this country, on NetFlix.  I liked it because it showed many, many real examples of people in debt.  It also showed the desire of credit card companies to pray on the poor, and on college students.  It is important to me that my kids understand that the credit card companies are not their friends.

I want to go through Richard Bolles classic, What Color is Your Parachute, with him.  Perhaps we can further narrow down the field.  This book looks at many different areas to determine what job would best suit you.

When we were first married, almost twenty years ago, Big Dad did a form of intensive career counseling, called DOMA.  It was so helpful to us in determining that he wanted to get his Masters degree in Human Resource Development, and go into corporate learning and development as a career.  Ralph Mattson, the creator of DOMA, has written a book, Discovering Your Child's Design.  This book, from a Christian perspective, takes the parent through the process of learning more about God's specific design for each child.  We plan to read this and go through the process over the next couple of years for Jor Man.

Next we will read Rich Dad, Poor Dad, by Robert Kiyosaki.  I realize that there is a teen version of this book.  But, really, the grownup version is so "dumbed down" that it is easily accessible to an eleven-year-old - especially when he is checking in with mom and dad every day for comprehension.  The book is not well written, but the information is invaluable.  I will add the caveat that "Rich Dad" recommends using debt as a tool to build wealth, which I do not agree with.  That is why we are reading The Total Money Makeover first.

My favorite book for understanding how wealthy people get wealthy, Rich Dad's Cash Flow Quadrant, is next.  Also by Kiyosaki, it carries the same caveat.  It explains, in detail, the different ways to create income.  I think it will be revelatory for Jor Man, and I cannot wait to hear what he thinks of it.

Lastly, I want Jor Man is read the book, The Duggars:  20 and Counting! I have been reading it, and am inspired by their financial principles.  Not only are they debt free, they have no mortgage, and they have passive income from commercial properties.  (Rich Dad would be proud).  While the book is interspersed with stories about parenting, marriage and faith as well, I was struck by their faithfulness to God's plan to not owe money to anyone.  God regularly met their needs, just in time, in miraculous ways.

This has been my experience of God's faithfulness.  Countless times, by trusting in God, and doing as He instructs, I have seen God bless me financially.  This is not the prosperity gospel.  I do not believe that you will be rich if you really believe in God.  It certainly didn't work that way for either Jesus or Paul.  But I do believe that God is faithful to meet our needs if we will trust Him instead of trusting in debt.

The Campster, with her awesome new reading skills, noticed and read to me the other day from the top of a dollar bill, "In God We Trust".  She was amazed to find that on the dollar.

Perhaps our forefathers meant it as a reminder to each one who holds a dollars in their hand, not to trust the dollar, but the Lord.

Wish you were here!

Creation

I got a good public school, and private university education.  If you asked me, ten years ago, where man can from, I would have told you, with all the certainty I had, that men evolved from apes.   That's what I was taught.  And I didn't see the problem with that versus what the Bible said.

However, about 7 years ago, my dear friend took me to the Institute for Creation Research in San Diego.  And that began my interest in Creation.   Now we are getting ready to take a trip to the Creation Museum, just outside of Cincinnati, Ohio.  Can't wait.  Everyone I know who has been there says that it is amazing.

Whether you believe in God or not, the question of where we humans came from, is central to our understanding of who we are.  Why not find out what the Creationists believe?  I dare you to learn more, and let me know what you think.

Recently we have been watching movies about this very subject.  So fascinating!  Netflix allows us to watch as many of these movies as we like, at home.

Here are the movies we have been loving lately:

Wish you were here!

Sowing Love

Recent events have only served to remind me of some of the reasons why I homeschool.  Children are being bullied to the point of suicide.  There is a lot of hate going around.

How do we, as Christian parents, stand firm on what we believe the Bible says about sexuality, while still teaching that hate is not the response God calls us to?

Last week I got to see an old friend.  He was in NYC to see some shows, and we arranged to meet him at the Metropolitan Museum of Art.  My children have many people in their lives who are gay.  But because they are children, and are so innocent, they do not yet know.

They know about sex.  We answer all their questions openly and honestly.  They see the chickens mating.  They have a natural curiosity about such things.  And we have always emphasized to them that sex is for marriage only, and between a husband and a wife.  I understand that others see this differently.

As I thought about our upcoming visit with my friend, I knew that he had "married" his partner and would it would probably come up in conversation.  I didn't want him to have to hide it - but I also wanted the opportunity to discuss it with my kids beforehand.  I knew that they would pick up on it.

Jor Man poses with the Medieval weaponry

So we talked with the kids about it.  I explained to them that there are actually many people in their lives who are gay.  This was met with groans and "Yuck" faces.  I continued, "Even though we understand that this is not what God would want for them, we need to remember that we also do things that God says not to do."

"Like what?" Jor Man asked, unbelieving.

"Like being unkind to your sisters."  I answered.  "We all fall short and do things that God tells us not to do.  That is what Jesus died for.  To love us anyway."  I explained that some kids in America had been bullied for being gay.  "Is that how God wants us to treat people?"  I asked.

"We should love them," was Sher Bear's reponse.  Jor Man was least comfortable.  I assured him that we would not ever put him in harm's way.

The whole idea of loving people who were openly doing what God said was wrong was difficult for them to "sit with".  We will need to revisit it again and again, I expect.

But the day came, and we went to the Museum.  I met my friend, and informed him of our little experiment.  I told him that I wanted them to have the opportunity to meet someone, knowing that they are gay, and see that they can still choose to be loving of him.

My friend was glad to go along and be the "guinea pig" in my social experiment.  I told him that if my kids made comments that were rude, I hoped he would forgive it, and point it out to them.  Thankfully, that wasn't necessary.

At first when they met him, they were a bit afraid.  They hung back a bit.  But within five minutes, they were fighting over who got to hold his hand, and Jor Man was regaling him with Greek Mythology.

The kids, my friend and I, in front of a Pollock

Somewhere, amidst all the paintings, and pottery, the statues and the lunch, they forgot that he was gay, and just enjoyed him.  When we left the museum, I asked the kids what their favorite thing in the museum was.  "Bill!!"  They all cried out.  I think it was a success.

Wish you were here!

Sitting in the chair

 This painting of a rustic chair, by Heidi Hafemeister Dagen, now hangs in our dining room.

We want our kids to fall in love with Jesus.  The problem with this is that we cannot see God.  We are asking them to believe in an invisible superhero, who loves them.  How can we demonstrate God's love in a way that they can see?

Imagine that there is an invisible chair.  We might tell others about the chair, but without seeing it, they would not be likely to believe.  We could describe the chair in detail, but they would still not be seeing.

The only way for others to "see" the invisible chair is for us to sit in it.  And put our feet up.  When we are resting all of our weight on the chair, then others are able to see it supporting us.

It is like this with Jesus.  We can talk about Him, describe Him, tell stories of what He has done.  But it is only when we are completely dependent on Him, with nothing else supporting us, that those around us can see Him.  Then, and only then, are they likely to be willing to sit in the chair themselves.

As parents, we often want to shield our children from our fears, our concerns, and our troubles.  But in order for them to see Jesus at work in our lives, we need to pull back the curtain a bit, and let them see our dependence on Him.

When life is full of trouble, sit down and put your feet up.  "Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls." Matthew 11:29

Wish you were here!

How to Hear God's Voice

Big Dad and Jor Man on a recent camping trip

Big Dad has often complained in the past that he does not hear from God.  I can think of a couple of times that he did - like when he knew I was pregnant with Jor Man before I did.  But on the whole, he didn't hear much.

Over time, he's come to realize that he didn't want to hear.  He was afraid of what God might say or ask him to do.  For the past year, Big Dad has been working deliberately on his relationship with God - especially trusting Him.  As a part of that effort, Big Dad ordered "How to Hear God's Voice" by Mark Virkler.  He's been loving it.

Recently, there was a webinar, and Big Dad and I did it on four consecutive Monday nights.  I must admit - I went in skeptical.  After all, I have been able to hear God's voice on and off since I was a child.  It's not something I learned to do - it just was.  So I wondered about a class that claimed to teach it.

But, surprise, surprise!  It was really good.  Funny, warm, informative, accessible and helpful.  Better yet, it works!  It works because God really wants us to hear his voice.  After all, Jesus himself said "My sheep know my voice."

Jor Man concentration on reeling in the big fish

The kids became interested in our webinar.  Jor Man sat in on it for three of the sessions and had a good experience.  It was past the girls' bedtimes, so they asked us to share with them what we had learned.

Now every night as they are going to bed, Big Dad leads them in being still before God and listening.  Campster and Sher Bear both hear God's voice really well.  The other night, Campster was quiet before God and saw herself walking down a road.  Jesus and his disciples were walking ahead of her.  She ran to catch up, and when she got close enough, jumped up on Jesus' back in a hug/tackle.  He turned his head to face her and laughed.  "Hi Cam!  I'm Peter.  Jesus is over there."  And they all laughed.  Jesus has a sense of humor.

Sher Bear asked Jesus "Why did you have to die on the cross?"  And Jesus answered her, "Because my Father wanted me to, and because I didn't want you to be punished for your sins."  I love that.  If she had given just her Sunday School answer, I would question if she were making it up.  But doing what the Father told Him to do, is above what I believe Sheridan would have answered if we had asked her just five minutes before she prayed.

I love what Becky Fischer says in her book "Redefining Children's Ministry in the 21st Century."  -Would you rather your kids know how many stones David used to slay Goliath, or recognize the voice of God?

For me, the very most precious gift I could ever give my kids is a personal relationship with Jesus.  I can't make them receive it.  But I can share my relationship with God with them, and I can give them the tools to make it much easier.

Wish you were here!

Asking Questions

Jor Man has been wanting to see the movie, "Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief" for some time now.  We were finally able to rent it.  I think we've watched it five times.  The kids love it - and I thought it was very good.

It is scary.  Uma Thurman is Medusa.  And there is a scene near the beginning that made me jump - something about a fury.  Ugly!!  But if your kids aren't nightmare prone, this movie is a great example of what unschooling can be like.

Following watching the movie, Jor Man was very interested in learning more about the Greek mythological gods and goddesses.  We watched
"The Greeks: Crucible of Civilization" on Netflix.  He loved it.  This is convenient since I intend to focus on the Ancients this year.  And I noticed that there are many more similar titles on Netflix.

We have discussed how these "gods and goddesses" are really false gods or demons.  For more ideas about how to talk with kids about this, see Kids in Ministry Internationals website or their curriculum, "Our Amazing God" - which we used with our family and loved.

Jor Man wanted to know - if when a "god" and a mortal have a baby, it's a "demi-god", what do you get if two "demi-gods" have a baby?  So we discussed genetics.(Although, who knows if it would work that way.  Would "gods" be a dominant or recessive gene?)  For the record, two demi-gods would have a 50% chance of having a demi-god baby, a 25% chance of having a mere mortal, and a 25% change of giving birth to a god.  Hmmm.

So many questions the kids had about the movie - so many jumping off points and learning moments.  It got me thinking - how great are questions?!

In school, kids are told what they SHOULD know, not what they WANT to know.  When my kids ask me a question, I know that they are sincerely interested in the subject and want to know the answer.  This is totally different than them memorizing the answer to a question they never asked so that they will be able to answer the question when they are tested.

I am attempting to inspire, delight, and create an environment of wonder and curiosity so compelling that I am inundated with questions!  Mom, how does this work?  Why is it blue?  How come?

Inquisitive kids make great learners.  I wonder if parents are afraid of questions, though?  What if your kids ask questions, and you don't know the answers?

That's when the real learning takes place, as you teach your kids how to find out the answers themselves.  Perhaps you show them how to look up a word in the dictionary.  Or you search for something on the internet.  Or you go to the library, and have them ask the librarian their question.

We want to create life long learners.  Not great test takers.

"It is the glory of God to conceal a thing,
but it is the honor of kings to search it out,”
Proverbs 25:22

Wish you were here!

Vacation Bible School

Last week was spent at Kidz Kamp, our church's version of Vacation Bible School.  We meet each morning from 9 am to 12:15 pm.  I lead the theater class and a Bible class for 3rd and 4th graders.  

This year, Jor Man chose to do "Tech" class again, and loved it.  They figured out (the teachers didn't tell them) how to make motors.  Then they made blimps and finally submarines.  Jor Man was entranced.  He came home every afternoon eager to show Big Dad and I what he had discovered.  We begged the instructor to know where he got his projects.  This website has lots of fun experiments and projects in technology.  

Campster and Sher Bear adored their "Younger Crafts" class as usual.  Next year Campster will be old enough to possibly try something else.  But she really loves the crafts, too.

The teens serve as CTs (Counselors in Training) and it is an opportunity for them to experience ministering to others, as well as being on the team together.  In addition to assisting the teachers, (and sometimes being the teachers), they lead worship, put on skits, and set the tone for the whole camp.  This year's CT group was phenomenal.  Jor Man is looking forward to being a CT in three more years.

I love how our little church really turns out for this event each year - people take their vacations to be able to share this week with the kids.  It's free for the families, and so we draw many children from the surrounding area who do not usually attend our church.

I especially loved my Bible class, where the kids asked tough questions:  "How good do you have to be to get into heaven?" and "Why did they kill Jesus?"  I love their honesty and their willingness to get real.

Some of the kids who came to camp were not well behaved.  That gave me an opportunity to talk with my kids about how we treat others who are not nice to us.  They were able to pray for, and love these children, and now they are friends.  That's Jesus' love in action!  

Wish you were here!

Painting together

We really love to paint around here.  I don't just mean that we have the standard preschool easel with paints (although we do), or even finger paints or watercolor.  I mean making "real" art.

It all started when Jor Man was three-years-old.  Big Dad wanted something special to put over the mantel letting everyone know that we are Christians.  I got an idea for a painting of Jesus, in three parts:  two hands and his head, on the cross.  I sketched it out, and bought the canvases and the paint.

Then, having sketched it in pencil on the canvases, I began to paint while baby Campster was asleep.  Jor Man noticed and wanted to "help".  I gulped.  I didn't really want his help, because I wanted the painting to be "good".  Well, he was so excited about painting, that I decided to try it.  But I explained to him that I wanted it to be a certain way, and I might "fix" a few things.
Our painting together was great fun.  We painted for several days and it turned out just like I wanted.  Big Dad was so happy with it.

Fast forward to six months ago.  It was Big Dad's birthday.  The kids wanted to make him something.  I thought he might like a painting of the kids by the kids.

So we went to Michael's and got a canvas and acrylic paints.  I sketched the three kids from photos.  We'd already begun painting before I realized that it would be fun to document it.

Each child was responsible for painting their own picture.  Beauty Mom helped with mixing colors and with suggestions for how to do things.  It took several hours which we did over a few days.  Better to do a few shorter spurts with good cooperation and fun, than rush to get it all done at once, getting frustrated and impatient with ourselves and others.  We talked a lot about colors, and styles of art.  We experimented with mixing colors to see what would happen.

One of the best things we learned is that for an artist there is no such thing as a mistake, only an opportunity!  Learning to have a good attitude is, I think, more important than learning technique.  With a good attitude, technique will follow.  But with a bad attitude, technique is really wasted.

We kept it all a secret.  On the morning of his birthday, the kids lined up on the bed with the painting on their laps.  We hadn't planned it that way, but it was so funny.  Big Dad was so surprised!  And the kids were all proud and happy with their creation.  They asked if we could paint again soon.

I think it is fun for kids to paint in the standard "school" ways that we think about kids painting.  But it is really fun, engaging and meaningful for them to be a part of "real" art.  Something that hangs on your wall for years, not just on your frig for a few weeks.

When I was little, my mom had an entire wall in our kitchen designated as the art wall.  She hung up our very nicest works of art and kept them there.  In fact, one of my drawings is still on her frig.  Really.

Thanks, Mom!

Wish you were here!

Make a Joyful Noise

Campster tries out the trumpet

Our weekly "drum lessons" have continued, and have morphed into musical experiences of all kinds.  Campster wanted to try the trumpet.  Jor Man wanted to play the guitar.  So each week we each play whatever instruments we want to play.  It's spontaneous, and wonderfully unstructured.  And it doesn't look like any music classes I've ever been a part of.  But the kids are loving it and we are all learning to play and make music together.

I am learning a lot from Jon, the "teacher".  He will make suggestions to the kids about a rhythm to play or to try doing it "like this".  And the kids sometimes will do what he says.  But sometimes . . . well, sometimes they blow him off.  And the prideful mommy that I am - I feel ashamed of my kids.  Or is it of my parenting?  There, I said it.  I feel like they "should" obey him.

But I notice that Jon is not affected by their lack of obedience.  He simply goes with it.  He'll say "Oh, that's a cool rhythm you are doing.  Let's do that."  And then he'll tell them what their rhythm is called.  The kids trust him and see him as a co-creator and co-discover-er of this mysterious thing called music.

Each week I see improvement, not only in technique, but in willingness to try new things and enjoy the process.  If we are afraid to make "mistakes" and feel we have to it perfectly, it really takes the joy out of it.  I am reminded of John Holt's experience of learning the flute as an adult, which he writes about in How Children Fail.  He would get so tense and stressed at the expectations of the teacher, that he became unable to think and to remember how to play.  The only thing that relieved this was to make the very mistake that he most feared making.

Jor Man learning chords on his electric guitar

In an interview, he said:  "I started the flute at 34; I was a very bad learner, very tense, very scared of mistakes. I started the cello at 40. I was better, only played a couple of years because I was lecturing and had to quit. Took it up again at 50; I was a still better learner. I've taken up the violin now at 60, and I've gone much further in the first year - with 10 to 15 minutes a day on the violin - than I did in my first year on the cello. Some of it is a transfer but some of it is that I'm much happier at the whole business of learning something new. Much of it is just by hanging out with these little guys [children] and seeing what they do."

I try to remember this when I am tempted to "make" the kids learn.  It is counterproductive.  Kids learn best when they are free to learn, what they want to learn, when they want to learn, and how they want to learn it.

Sher Bear has a "microphone" that she employs as she sings out her original lyrics.  She worships with abandon.  She is a witness for Christ to the "teacher".  Not because she shares theology, but because the passion of her heart is Jesus.

Big Dad letting the neighbors know we're here.

Big Dad is getting to where he can keep a beat!   I am tempted to say that this is miraculous, because in the past he could not clap to the beat, even if he was watching others clap.  But I have always wondered how a person can play basketball; bouncing the ball, and measuring his steps to the basket, without rhythm?  He is also trying guitar for the first time.  I think we will all be surprised by his musical abilities.  He has never pursued music before.  As a child in catholic school, he sang in the chorus.  One of the nuns told him and another student just to mouth the words.  Really.  Talk about being more interested in the product than the process.

I would like us to work on a song to present at worship - perhaps a David Crowder song?  But I also don't want to hijack what is already working so well.  Perhaps I will learn my part, and invite others to join in as they like.  Now I want to decide: do I learn it on the piano, or the guitar?  High-class problem, I know.  There are so many wonderful ways to worship the Lord!

Wish you were here!

Quail

Mom and kids watching the baby quail in Dad's office

God never ceases to amaze me.  On Memorial Day, we were gifted with just over 50 week-old quail chicks.  They were hatched as part of a local store promotion.  A friend knew of my affinity for poultry and suggested that I raise them.  So here we are in Big Dad's office with our box of quail chicks.  See how they are all huddled in the corner?  That's because it wasn't yet warm enough for them.  The heat lamp needs a few minutes to get it warmed up enough for them.  When they arrived they were about 2 inches long each.

Since then, we have had a few adventures with the quail.  One day their water bottle mysteriously tipped over, and half the chicks got soaked.  They were shivering and piling on top of one another when Jor Man discovered them.  The whole family quickly gathered around with hair dryers and towels to warm them up and dry them off.  We only lost one chick to that debacle.

Then on Friday, we were headed over to the farm to pick up some milk (yes, we live in the country!) and we saw a tag sale (yes, we live in New England).  After getting the milk into the refrigerator, Grace and I returned to the tag sale.  (Oh, the joys of having a husband out of work - we can leave the kids with him!)

So little.  Like colored cotton balls.

As we approached the tag sale, which was being held at the local storage facility, I commented to Grace, "This is so silly.  It's not like I have any money to spend.  And it's not even like I really need anything.  The only thing I could really use is a larger quail enclosure. "  Like we could find one at a tag sale.  But I thought maybe we might find some animal cage or some old big box.  Something.  So I threw up a prayer, "Okay, God, please let their be a quail enclosure for me at the tag sale."

As we walked down the hill to the sale, we both saw them.  What were they?  They looked house like, but on stilts and there were four of them.  Turns out they were chick brooders - from a circus - in the Carolinas.  They even had brooder lamps.  The guy at the sale offered to deliver them to my house if I would take all four.  So I did.  What a steal!

Future quail brooders and bunny hutches

So, my amazing God got me not one, but four quail enclosures.  They are custom made and lovely.  They are 3 foot by 3 foot and 7 feet tall.  One is currently in our basement full of 50 quail.  The other three are in the garage.  We will probably convert one to a really cool bunny condo for Miss Ruby.  And we have ordered chicks for when we return from Guatemala.  It's going to be a regular poultry-fest around here.

I just love that God knows my prayers before I even pray them.  He is that good.  If I can trust him to provide a quail house (if he cares for the sparrows) then I can trust him for a job for my husband, and provision for our family.

Wish you were here!

The Bad Mom and the Good Mom

My cousin is a wonderful Christian, homeschooler with 4 kids.  She called me one day a few years ago to tell me that she was the worst mom ever.

I laughed.  She seems to me to be a wonderful mom; always chipper, ever resourceful.  But she continued.

"I loaded the kids in the car to go to ballet, backed the car out of the garage, and was a quarter of a mile down the road when Molly asked 'Mom, where's Isaac?'"

Isaac is her four-year-old.  "He's not in the car?"  She asked.  "No."

"I know what you're thinking," she said to me.  "You're thinking, 'Oh, no!  Poor Isaac, scared at home alone.'  But I knew he was fine.  If he was in the house, he'd have already turned on the TV and gotten himself some cereal.  And if he were outside, he'd just wander over to the neighbors' and be perfectly happy there."

"So I was just looking in my rear-view mirror to make sure it was safe to slow down and make a u-turn, when I saw him.  There was Isaac.  Standing on the rear bumper, holding on to the wiper on the back of the van - just his forehead and eyes visible in the window."

"Oh no!"  I exclaimed.

"I had to fight the urge to slam on the brakes.  I slowed the car to a stop at the side of the road, and ran back to get him.  'Isaac, honey' I said 'Why didn't you tell me that you were on the car?'  And he said, 'I was yelling for you, Mommy, but you didn't hear me.'"

"Since then I have what if'd myself to death.  'What if I had been on the freeway?'  'What if he'd fallen off?'  But the thing that really gets me, is that I didn't see him when I backed out the driveway!"

"Wow,"  was all I could say to my cousin.  What a story.  She said that her mom had told her she was too busy, and needed to do less.

"But, that's the thing - I wasn't even in a hurry.  We were early.  We weren't rushed.  I truly thought he was in the car."

I know that as a mom, I've had days like that.  Days when everything was going well, and then, well, oops.  My cousin told me to tell my friends that story whenever they had a bad day and thought they were a bad mom.  She knew it would make them feel better.

So, I've told that story many times, to many friends.  And Jor Man had overheard me tell it.  So, one day, Jor Man said,  "Mom, you know the 'Bad Mom' story you tell?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, could you tell me a Good Mom story?"  He asked.

Hmmm.  A good mom story.  I didn't have one of those.  I really had to think about it.  After several days, I remembered a story a friend had told me.

This particular friend is also an amazing mom.  She has eight children whom she homeschools.  She has taught me so much about Jesus, and parenting.  I really am in awe of her.

So I remember being more than a little surprised when she told me about a time when her first child was a few months old.  He wasn't a good sleeper.  In fact, she was really exhausted.  One night, she had walked the halls with him multiple times, and had finally just gotten him back to sleep.  She transferred him ever so carefully to his crib and silently, slowly backed out of the door.

She was almost to her room when he cried out again.  This time, instead of running to his side, she broke down and cried.  She sat down at the top of the stairs and wept, crying out to God.

Beauty Mom and Sher Bear on the day she was born.

"God," she said, "you chose the wrong woman to be this baby's mother.  I can't do this.  I am exhausted.  I don't care anymore."

And she heard God say, "You're right.  You can't do this.  But I can."

Baby still cried in the background.  She sat weeping.  And again God spoke.

"I want to go in and be with him.  May I borrow your legs?  You don't have to want to be there, or care.  But I want to borrow you legs and go in and be with him."

So my friend got up, in God's strength, and walked back into the room, standing by the crying child.  After a minute, God said "I want to love this boy.  May I borrow your arms?"  And she picked him up.

My friend tells me that is how she parented from then on - not from her own strength, but from God's love for her kids.

So I told Jor Man the story - of the good mom who relied on God to love her kids.  He was quiet for a while.  And then Jor Man said, "That's a good story, Mom.  You should try that sometime."

"I do, Jor Man.  I do."

Wish you were here!