Museum of Art @ Rhode Island School of Design

The kids at Brown University

The girls wanted me to take this picture of the public art at Brown.

The leaves were so lovely against the old buildings at Brown.

Autumn leaves

Campster and Sher Bear admiring the Egyptian sarcophagus

Sher Bear's jaw dropped when she saw a real mummy

Model of an Egyptian Boat

Ancient Buddhadista - wooden statuary

Huge Japanese Buddha Sculpture in Wood

Campster wanted me to take a photo of this Tibetan, gold dagger for Jor Man, who was on the older kids tour.

Sher Bear wanted me to take a picture of this "beautiful jewelry"

This Babylonian wall art depicts the false goddess Ishtar as a lion.

The girls listen intently as our docent explains the battle story told by the intricately carved, marble sarcophagus.

Jor Man took this picture of Athena

A Gryphon carved on a stone casket

This is the marquis for the First Baptist Church in America.  I really liked it!

 Yesterday, the kids and I drove to Rhode Island.  I don't know that I have ever been to RI before.  It's lovely.  I particularly liked Providence with its old, historic buildings on steep hills.  Jor Man thought it would be great for skateboarding (if you want to die young!), and Sher Bear had fun stuffing her pockets full of all the beautiful leaves she found along the way.

Since we got there a little early, we walked over to Brown University and looked around.  It was very nice.  Everyone was quietly studying away.  Jor Man and I talked about the different types of architecture represented in their quadrangle.  Campster insisted that I take pictures of the art.

The First Baptist Church in America

Then we walked back down the hill to the Rhode Island School of Design's Museum of Art for a tour.  This tour was arranged by the Family Resource Center.  They have an amazing collection of art from all eras.  But our tour focused specifically on art from ancient Egypt, Greece and Rome.  Although we also saw their collections of modern, Chinese, Japanese, textile and Tibetan art.

It had been a while since we had been on a long drive, and I was surprised how much the kids enjoyed it.  I  had told them I would get them up at 6:45 am, but they were all up and dressed at 6:10 am!  I guess they were excited.  It was nice to realize that we do travel well, and fall into a certain rhythm in the car.  So, were going to do it again, soon!

Wish you were here!

Double Pharaoh Crown of Egypt

Walk like an Egyptian.

Because Sher Bear really wants to study Egypt this year, we are getting together with another homeschool family and doing projects every so often.  First we did cave paintings, and next we made Pharaoh Crowns.

Sher Bear rocks the Pharaoh crown.

Originally Egypt was split into the Upper and Lower Kingdoms.  The Pharaoh (or king) of the Upper Kingdom wore the white crown.  And the Pharaoh of the Lower Kingdom wore the red crown.  When the Upper Kingdom was victorious over the Lower Kingdom, the conquering Pharaoh wore a double crown, also called a sekhemty.  (For more info on the history of Egyptian crowns, see this website.)

Our crowns were made out of foam sheets, and colored duct tape.  We used the pattern in the book,
Historical Headgear, Hats and Helmets.

Jor Man making Pharaoh faces.

Campster's crown needs to be adjusted.

Pharaoh fun!

 Wish you were here!

Train Your Child to be Unhappy

A Happy Sher Bear

Did you know that you can train your child to be unhappy?  Yup.


I saw this post on BlogHer this morning, and I gotta say, I really take issue with the whole assumption behind the post.


Now I don't know if the link above will work for you or not, so, here's a quick synopsis:  The mom writing has a three-year-old and is pregnant with her second child.  Like most parents, they went all out on the first kid, including getting a 3D ultrasound from one of those private companies (not doctor prescribed).  All of which I have no problem with.


Now she is realizing that, while she really excited about the second child, she doesn't feel the need to get the whoop-dee-do ultrasound for $200 this time.


Her question is, and I quote:  Will my January baby someday feel slighted (or even unwanted) because we skipped the fancy ultrasound?  Is it unfair of us to not give the same gift to our January baby that we gave to Gracie (a DVD of her in utero)?


In response, people have written in about their experiences as a child with not getting equal treatment as their siblings.  And on the whole, it's split about 50/50 as to whether they were upset about it or not.


I think they all miss the point.


Is the point of parenting to make certain that your child is happy?  


Not that we wouldn't all want our children to be happy.  Of course we do!!  But is that something that we can achieve by making certain everything is fair?


Say it with me:  Life isn't fair.


It occurs to me that the happiest people I know are not the ones who get things their way all the time.  No, they are the people who have learned to roll with it.  They understand that life has its ups and downs, and they don't get all bent out of shape when things don't go like they expected.


Just looking at the responses to the blog post - everyone who responded was writing about a time when things were not equal between them and their siblings.  Yet half of them chose to assume that one must be upset about such injustice, and the other half didn't think it was a big deal.  Any bets as to which half is happier on the whole?


So how does this play out in our day-in, day-out parenting?  I find scripts to be helpful tools.  So here are two scripts.  In this first script, the parent is training their child to use unhappiness to try to motivate themselves and others in their life.  The parent has the best intentions, but they are not able with this method to achieve the happy child that they were after.


Kid:  Mom!  Sister got a better doll than me.  That's not fair.


Mom:  Your doll is nice.  (Trying to convince child they are wrong, and it is fair.)


Kid:  No, it's not.  It's stupid.  Hers is bigger and has fancier clothes.


Mom:  Well, it was her birthday.  Maybe you'll get a bigger, fancier doll on your birthday.  (Agreeing that it wasn't fair, and should be.  But encouraging her to wait.)


Kid:  I want a nice doll now!  (Whines, stomps foot, pouts.)


Mom:  (Convinced that child is unhappy, and wanting to "fix" it.)  How about we go and order a new one for you?  


Kid:  (Smiling.)  Okay!!  Thanks, Mom!!


Can you see in the above example how this child now knows that being unhappy will get them what they want?  Next time they want something (give them a few minutes!) they will try being unhappy again.  Meanwhile, Mom is believing that child is happy now, and that she's done her job by "making" the child happy.


Now let's try an example of Mom not training her child to be unhappy.


Kid:  Mom!  Sister got a better doll than me.  That's not fair.


Mom:  Yup, she did.  (Not denying reality.)


Kid:  I want a nice doll!  (Stomps foot, whines, pouts.)


Mom:  Don't you stomp your foot at me.  If you want something, use a nice voice.


Kid:  Mom? (turns on the charm)  May I please have a nice doll like sister's?  (Smiles a fake happy smile.)


Mom:  Thank you for asking in your nice voice.  Sure.  If you want to save your allowance, I'd be happy to help you buy that doll.


Kid:  That's not fair!!  I want a nice doll, now!!  (Tries stomping and whining again.)


Mom:  Please go to your room.  That is not the way we behave in this house.  


Kid:  (Growling on their way.)


After a short while, Mom goes to Kid's room.


Mom:  Are you ready to come out and be happy?


Kid:  Yes, Ma'am.  (Not looking super happy, but no longer angry.)


In this scenario, it's harder for Mom to feel like she's done "a good job" in helping her child to be happier.  But in the long run, this kid will choose to be happy or not - but they will know that being unhappy does not work to motivate Mom.


Perhaps, if the doll was really something that they wanted, they will save up and get the doll.  But the doll is not the important thing - the heart is.  


I find myself shaking my head at the whole idea of some one thinking about spending $200 they wouldn't otherwise spend, just in case a child, who isn't born yet, might decide to feel offended at some point in the future.  I don't want to spend my years as a mom walking on those kind of eggshells.


So can we get rid of that should:  Everything SHOULD be fair and equal among siblings?  


I have.


(For more information about Happy Parenting, please check out www.option.org - that's where I learned it.)


Wish you were here!

Sitting in the chair

 This painting of a rustic chair, by Heidi Hafemeister Dagen, now hangs in our dining room.

We want our kids to fall in love with Jesus.  The problem with this is that we cannot see God.  We are asking them to believe in an invisible superhero, who loves them.  How can we demonstrate God's love in a way that they can see?

Imagine that there is an invisible chair.  We might tell others about the chair, but without seeing it, they would not be likely to believe.  We could describe the chair in detail, but they would still not be seeing.

The only way for others to "see" the invisible chair is for us to sit in it.  And put our feet up.  When we are resting all of our weight on the chair, then others are able to see it supporting us.

It is like this with Jesus.  We can talk about Him, describe Him, tell stories of what He has done.  But it is only when we are completely dependent on Him, with nothing else supporting us, that those around us can see Him.  Then, and only then, are they likely to be willing to sit in the chair themselves.

As parents, we often want to shield our children from our fears, our concerns, and our troubles.  But in order for them to see Jesus at work in our lives, we need to pull back the curtain a bit, and let them see our dependence on Him.

When life is full of trouble, sit down and put your feet up.  "Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls." Matthew 11:29

Wish you were here!

Pen Pals

When I was young, my travel agent parents arranged a pen pal for me.  She lived in Vienna, Austria and wanted to practice her english.  So we sent letters back and forth for a long time.

Now I am trying to think of ways to encourage Campster to write.  She made a good friend last year at Aquarium School.  The two girls were inseparable every class.  So I suggested to the other girl's mother that they become pen pals.

We certainly could have done it over email.  And they could have even talked on the phone.  But I think there is just something special about getting an old fashioned letter in the mail.

So Campster and her friend have been writing back and forth.  Her letters are brief, and covered with artwork.  She's had the opportunity to practice letter writing and addressing envelopes.  She gets to work on her penmanship and spelling.  And when the letter arrives, she gets to read and practice that all important skill of deciphering someone else's handwriting.  Of course, Campster doesn't realize any of this.  She just thinks it's fun, because it is.

The internet could come in handy when finding a pen pal.  There are so many Christian Homeschooling blogs and sites up - If you want to find a pen pal for your child, just ask around.  You could also have Grandparents, Aunt or Uncles or cousins write.

By the way, the purpose of these letters is not to have them be perfect.  Don't ruin the fun by insisting that their penmanship be neat, the words spelled correctly, or even the sentences complete.  It's all about writing for fun and for the joy of relationship.

You could decorate some plain paper with stamps to make "Stationery".  Postcards are fun for older kids with smaller handwriting.  Think of including photos or artwork as a part of the letter.  Talk with your child about the process of getting to know someone and making chit-chat.

Wish you were here!

Vote Early, Vote Often

Sher Bear writing her name on her ballot

I grew up in Chicago, where "Vote Early, Vote Often" was more of a tradition than a mafia joke.

But, seriously, if you are an American, did you vote yesterday?  We did.

After breakfast, we took the kids to Town Hall and up the stairs to the polling place.  One of the benefits of living in a small, rural town is that we knew almost everyone, and they were fine about the kids being there - reminding us politely that the kids were not to touch our ballots.  They gave each of the kids their own "Sample Ballot" same as we had, but printed on bright yellow paper so as not to be confused with the real thing.

Then we all went into our little cubbies and got to the voting.  The girls filled out their ballots, too, copying Mom's and Dad's.  And Sher Bear even wrote her name on her ballot. (I'll have to talk to her about how voting is supposed to be anonymous).

If you voted yesterday, kudos to you!  I hope you took your kids with and talked about the process, and the privilege we have in the US.  I commented to the kids as we crossed the street after voting, "We are so blessed to be able to vote at all.  Blessed to be able to vote as women.  And blessed to be voting without threat of violence for having done so."  How nice to realize that there we no guns on the streets on election day.

Campster carefully considers her vote

If you didn't vote yesterday, please make sure to register to vote this week and do so next time.  I believe it is important to instill in my children not only the right to vote - but the responsibility. Please understand me, I am not saying that this is a should.  I am saying that voting is a use it or lose it proposition.  If enough of us fail to vote over the years, our children will not see the value, and we lose that wonderful privilege.  Please make sure you are registered to vote, and take your kids with you so they see how it's done.

Regardless of whether you voted or not, take time over the next few days to share the election results.  My kids were excited to compare their "ballots" with the election results.  I won't tell you how we fared, because, excepting where your rights to homeschool or parent are concerned, this is not a blog about politics.

But most states (I'd hazard a guess that all) require that you teach your children federal, state and local government.  And here's your opportunity.  Talk with your kids about why you voted the way you did.  Explain your choices and do your best to express the alternate viewpoint and what you see as it's shortcomings.

Ideas for next election:  Get involved early.  Candidates would love your help stuffing envelopes or delivering fliers.  Visit your state capitol building and talk about how it all works.  If you need a refresher course, here is a great website explaining how our government is set up.  Or, break out your Schoolhouse Rock DVD and dance around the living room while you learn about how bills turn into laws.

Lastly, I want to share ParentalRights.org with you.  Please take a moment to go over to their website and get familiar with what your rights are as a parent, and how they are in jeopardy.  It's important, and most parents I know didn't have a clue about these important issues until I told them.

Apres Voting.  Jor Man is camera shy.

Wish you were here!

How to Hear God's Voice

Big Dad and Jor Man on a recent camping trip

Big Dad has often complained in the past that he does not hear from God.  I can think of a couple of times that he did - like when he knew I was pregnant with Jor Man before I did.  But on the whole, he didn't hear much.

Over time, he's come to realize that he didn't want to hear.  He was afraid of what God might say or ask him to do.  For the past year, Big Dad has been working deliberately on his relationship with God - especially trusting Him.  As a part of that effort, Big Dad ordered "How to Hear God's Voice" by Mark Virkler.  He's been loving it.

Recently, there was a webinar, and Big Dad and I did it on four consecutive Monday nights.  I must admit - I went in skeptical.  After all, I have been able to hear God's voice on and off since I was a child.  It's not something I learned to do - it just was.  So I wondered about a class that claimed to teach it.

But, surprise, surprise!  It was really good.  Funny, warm, informative, accessible and helpful.  Better yet, it works!  It works because God really wants us to hear his voice.  After all, Jesus himself said "My sheep know my voice."

Jor Man concentration on reeling in the big fish

The kids became interested in our webinar.  Jor Man sat in on it for three of the sessions and had a good experience.  It was past the girls' bedtimes, so they asked us to share with them what we had learned.

Now every night as they are going to bed, Big Dad leads them in being still before God and listening.  Campster and Sher Bear both hear God's voice really well.  The other night, Campster was quiet before God and saw herself walking down a road.  Jesus and his disciples were walking ahead of her.  She ran to catch up, and when she got close enough, jumped up on Jesus' back in a hug/tackle.  He turned his head to face her and laughed.  "Hi Cam!  I'm Peter.  Jesus is over there."  And they all laughed.  Jesus has a sense of humor.

Sher Bear asked Jesus "Why did you have to die on the cross?"  And Jesus answered her, "Because my Father wanted me to, and because I didn't want you to be punished for your sins."  I love that.  If she had given just her Sunday School answer, I would question if she were making it up.  But doing what the Father told Him to do, is above what I believe Sheridan would have answered if we had asked her just five minutes before she prayed.

I love what Becky Fischer says in her book "Redefining Children's Ministry in the 21st Century."  -Would you rather your kids know how many stones David used to slay Goliath, or recognize the voice of God?

For me, the very most precious gift I could ever give my kids is a personal relationship with Jesus.  I can't make them receive it.  But I can share my relationship with God with them, and I can give them the tools to make it much easier.

Wish you were here!